Dispute of Shades
by DarkAuroran
Summary: Kakashi's in a panic! Iruka can't figure out how a few shades difference can turn his normally calm lover into an unstable, semi-homicidal maniac. My crack fic. It had to be done! KakaIru


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I would also like to take this opportunity to point out what intelligent creatures worms are.**

**AN: Just some useless drivel that's been floating around in my head.**

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Dispute of Shades**

"Gyyyahhhh!"

The horrified scream from his lover had Iruka jolting in surprise and running a red ink line up the middle of the assignment he was correcting at the kitchen table. He leapt to his feet, causing the pile of already marked pages to scatter around the room in a mini paper storm. Only pausing long enough to pull a kunai from its hiding place near the bookshelf, Iruka dashed up the hallway to the bathroom where he felt his partners erratic chakra signature emanating. Kakashi's voice could be heard repeating a single word over and over, obviously highly distressed.

"No. No. No."

Iruka skidded to a halt in the bathroom door, chocolate eyes darting around the room in search for what ever had made the elite Jounin cry out like that.

"Kakashi, what is it?" he demanded, fully prepared to fight and defend.

Instead of being faced with the expected horde of enemy shinobi bent on revenge and the immanent demise of the copy-nin, there was only Kakashi. The pale man was standing in front of the mirror with eyes wide, one hand parting and flattening his gravity-defying locks while the other held what appeared to be a few silver strands of hair between trembling fingers.

Wide, almost panicked mismatched eyes turned to Iruka and the Chuunin stared in mounting worry as the normally masked pale bottom lip trembled.

"Ruka… I have grey hairs."

The kunai fell from suddenly limp tanned fingers and imbedded itself, point down, into the hard wood floor of the hallway. Iruka could only stare disbelievingly as one of the most skilled and feared shinobi of their village looked at him with watering eyes and a face a hungry lost puppy would adopt after you'd kicked it into a puddle. This, of course, only served to increase the incredulousness of the situation and the highly respected academy sensei knew that at that moment he must have looked like a slack jawed yokel.

The lack of immediate response only seemed to upset Kakashi further and the older man stepped towards Iruka, still with both hands on his head separating out the few strands of hair.

"Didn't you hear me? I have grey hairs! I'm getting old!" the Jounin cried, trying to impress upon the younger man the dire seriousness of the situation.

Finally Iruka closed his gaping mouth and the dark brows lowered in confusion.

"How can you even tell?"

"What do you mean 'how can I even tell'? They're _grey_! Look at them!" The Jounin thrust his head under Iruka's nose and tugged on the few hairs he'd separated out. "_Look_."

"I'm looking, I'm looking." Iruka said quickly to the distressed man and reached out to finger the offending hairs. "Kashi, love, they're the same colour as the rest of your hair." He said confusedly.

Before he knew it Kakashi had raised his head and he looking into a mismatched pair of furious eyes.

"And just _what _do you mean by _that_?" the older man demanded in a very low dangerous tone.

Iruka audibly gulped. "Ahh… well, you see, all your hair is… umm… kind of, grey." He finished the last word in a tiny voice.

There was no movement from either man. The tap dripped, a cricket chirped and somewhere in the earth below them a worm began digging deeper for cover.

"WHAT?!" Kakashi exploded, realeasing his hair to grab Iruka's upper arms and hauling him even closer. "I do _not_ have _grey _hair! I have _silver_ hair. _Silver_."

"Ok, ok! I'm sorry!" Iruka panicked, pressing his hands to the taller mans chest and leaning back as far as he could. "My bad. It's silver, definitely silver."

The transformation was almost instantaneous as all the anger completely drained from Kakashi and his whole frame drooped in woeful defeat, his face once more looking completely miserable.

"But it won't be for long. Soon the grey's will spread and I'll look like an old man." The master of 1000 jutsu's gave a pathetic sniff raised tortured eyes to the dark ones regarding him in confused wariness. "And then you won't find me attractive anymore."

Iruka couldn't help but soften at that look. No matter how ridiculously bizarre this situation was for him, it was obviously very important and distressing to Kakashi.

"Aww, Kashi-love," he wrapped his arms around the slouched frame and gave his lover a hug. "Of course I'll still find you attractive."

"No you won't."

"Yes I will. I love you, and if you really think about it grey's only a few shades different from silver. I doubt anyone will even notice and it'll all blend in."

Kakashi looked at him with such hope. "Really?"

Iruka smiled and nodded. "Besides, in many cultures grey hair is a good thing. It's a sign of experience and wisdom. Not to mention that a few grey hairs can look very dashing."

"So… you think I look more dashing?" Kakashi asked uncertainly.

"Absolutely."

The older man nodded thoughtfully as his seemed to digest this information. After a few moments he even offered up a tiny smile.

"Better?" Iruka asked, stroking some of the soft 'silver' strands back from his forehead.

"I guess so." The Jounin answered, still sounding a bit down.

Iruka knew what always cheered up his lover when ever he was down in the dumps. "Hey, how about we go out for dinner tonight? My treat."

Kakashi contemplated this for a short moment before looking hopefully at the younger man. "Yakitori?"

"Sure, Yakitori it is." He smiled back kindly. "But I have to quickly use the bathroom first so you go wait by the door for me, ok?"

The silver haired Jounin whooped and bounded out the door, doing a remarkable impersonation of Naruto who had just been promised all you can eat ramen for free. Iruka held his breath until the door clicked shut and then let it out in a hugely frustrated sigh before smacking his head into the wall with a growl.

_What the hell was with that_!!

Still confused, frustrated and generally all around pissed off at his lovers ridiculously out of character behaviour Iruka allowed himself a few minutes to fume and mumble over crazy ass Jounins who were getting so worked up over a few shades difference in hair colour and wondering when the idiot's next psych assessment was.

Outside the bathroom door, Kakashi leaned against the wall lazily and silently chuckled to himself as he listened to Iruka's quiet ranting. Of all the things he'd ever done to get his Chuunin to take him out for dinner, this was by far the most entertaining.

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**AN: Ahhhh, that feels better to have that silly little drabble out of my head. Yes it was totally inane but I hope it gave some of you a laugh. I know I was grinning like a fool as I was writing it.**

**And see, Kakashi wasn't nearly as out of character as some of you may have thought. Review for me darlings, you know I love them.**


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